Finding Pride in My Journey: Embracing Growth and Inner Strength

By SodakArtist

Many people find pride in their children, marriages, careers, or even in recent purchases like a new home or car. And while those are all valid and meaningful achievements, for me, the deepest sense of pride comes from within—the person I’ve become, and more importantly, the person I am still becoming.

Five years ago, I was in a completely different space. I was lost, battling my own demons, and on the verge of giving up. In a motel room, I faced the darkest moment of my life, ready to let it all go. But something shifted within me. I realized that if I was going to move forward, I needed radical change, and that change had to start from within. It wasn’t just about surviving anymore; it was about reclaiming control over my life. That’s when I committed to rebuilding myself, one piece at a time.

One of the most tangible signs of this rebuilding process was raising my credit score from 304 in January 2024 to over 700 by September of the same year. On the surface, it might seem like just a number, but for me, it represented something much deeper: the discipline, patience, and hard work I had put into reshaping my life. I did this without taking out any loans or credit cards—just by learning to manage my resources and making smart financial decisions. I spent time studying consumer codes and understanding how to navigate financial systems in a way that allowed me to regain control of my financial health. But as proud as I am of this achievement, it’s the internal work—the self-reflection and growth—that truly defines my transformation.

I’ve spent countless hours studying—not just the craft of art, but life itself. The more I explored, the more I realized how deep my work needed to go. I began diving into shadow work, confronting the neglected and wounded parts of myself that I had long buried. This wasn’t easy. The process forced me to face uncomfortable truths about my past, how I viewed myself, and the role I played in my own suffering.

One of the most profound lessons I’ve learned is about forgiveness. It’s one thing to forgive those who you believe have wronged you, but it’s another thing entirely to forgive yourself. Self-forgiveness became the most challenging, yet liberating, aspect of my journey. Only when I could look at my past mistakes with compassion instead of judgment could I finally let go of the shame and guilt I had carried for so long. For instance, I had to come to terms with the fact that I had let myself stay stuck in cycles of negative thinking and self-sabotage for years. Forgiving myself for these things was the key to unlocking something far greater: self-love.

That forgiveness wasn’t an instant switch—it was a gradual, ongoing process. With each layer of forgiveness, a deeper level of self-love emerged, allowing me not only to heal but to thrive. I realized that loving myself wasn’t selfish; it was the most essential step in becoming the person I was always meant to be. And as I began to nurture that long-overdue love for myself, something remarkable happened: my creativity blossomed in ways I hadn’t imagined. It was as if, by healing the parts of myself I had once neglected, I unlocked a wellspring of artistic energy. The more I embraced my true self, the more my artistic expression flowed naturally, without force. My art was no longer just a hobby or a craft—it became a living reflection of my soul’s journey. Every piece I created told a story of wisdom gained, lessons learned, and the deep healing that continues to unfold within me.

For example, in my recent work, I find myself drawn to colors and textures that resonate with the emotions I’ve processed over time—shades that once represented struggle now blend into hues of peace and growth. Each brushstroke, each pour of paint, carries with it an energy, a message of transformation that mirrors my own life. It’s no longer about simply creating something visually appealing; my art has become a visual diary of the healing and empowerment I’ve embraced.

So while many people are proud of their children, their jobs, or their homes, I find pride in something much deeper. I am proud of the person I’ve become and continue to become. I’m proud that I get to be fully, unapologetically, and authentically me. There was a time when I didn’t believe that was possible, but here I stand, having pulled myself out of the deepest despair to walk in the light of my own truth.

Every challenge I’ve faced, every hardship, and every moment of doubt has brought me closer to this highest version of myself. And that, more than anything external, is what I am most proud of today—knowing that the person I am now is a testament to the journey I’ve walked, the resilience I’ve shown, and the unwavering belief that I am worthy of love, success, and happiness.

As I continue this journey, I’ve found that the more I learn, the more I crave knowledge. I’ve developed a hunger to understand more about life, art, and the deeper truths of existence. Every day, I push myself to learn at least one new thing, knowing that each bit of knowledge I gain strengthens my ability to turn it into power through wisdom. On the days when I feel like I haven’t grown or learned something new, I strive even harder the next day because I know that growth is endless, and knowledge is the key to unlocking more of myself.